I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
