VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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