Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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