I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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