After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
