I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
So vagazzling was a success
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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