I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
