just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize