I got chris browned last night
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
