You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize