And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
