dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
