yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Randomize