the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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