My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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