turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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