i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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