I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Everclear isn't food dammit
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