so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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