Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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