who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
