More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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