threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
