Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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