Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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