How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
