Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
