It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
