I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
