its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
