Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
