Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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