you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
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I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
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I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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