did you get engaged???
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
