we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You were trust falling into bushes
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
