Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
