I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
