And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
