i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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