I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize