she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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