no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Can Purell be used as lube?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
