Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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