Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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