Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Everclear isn't food dammit
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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