he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
