OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
