apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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