you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
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i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
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I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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