1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
