I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
