we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
