Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
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No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
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Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.