Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
