I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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