I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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