I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
