covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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