Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
