I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
