Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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