i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
