Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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